Two events this month reminded me how important it is for those who are married to have a vibrant bond with their spouse, partner, or whatever term they use. Joel Osteen, a pastor I don’t normally read, wrote an article that challenged married readers to be ‘beautiful’ in marriage. What does it mean to be a beautiful person to live with? To share a life together? Many couples tend to lose sight of this and focus on the things the other person does wrong or apparently lacks. Critical attitudes seem to rule the day as the years add up, and parenting children/teenagers often doesn’t help, and defensiveness rises up and fuels the divides at home. But, what would it look like for you and I to be beautiful spouses, and beautiful to our wives/husbands, today? That may be a question worth asking yourself as part of your morning routine. It’s become one for me.
The second event was a wedding that I helped officiate in the wonderful city of Zacatecas, Mexico for two former students of mine, one of whom was also in my youth group 13 years ago. It was a fantastic wedding, yet the cross-cultural and multi-lingual aspects of the wedding created a planning/preparation process full of many twists and turns for the bride. And many details weren’t finalized until hours before the wedding. So, there was a rushed atmosphere right up until the ceremony. During the wedding, I had the best view of the couple and enjoyed watching them talk to each other, sharing their feelings, and demonstrating the close bond that these two ‘best friends’ had for each other on this day. It reminded me of my wedding day and that, 24 years later, Kelly remains my best friend and the love of my life.
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Posted on Tuesday, May 31st, 2011 at 7:50 AM in BELIEF MATTERS. No comments
[This was one of my more popular posts last year, so I modified it a bit and reposted it .... because I'm shoveling/moving mulch.]
Recently a small dump truck put 8 cubic yards of hardwood mulch in my driveway. On purpose. It’s the amount we purchased this year to spruce up our flower beds for Lauren’s upcoming graduation party. Everything has to be perfect, you know!
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Posted on Wednesday, May 25th, 2011 at 6:06 PM in IN THIS CORNER, LEAD WELL. No comments
On a recent trip out of the country, one of my travel companions ( a group of us were on this trip together) asked me what I liked best about American culture. A savvy world traveler, she used airport downtime to learn from her fellow traveler. As one of my five answers, I said that I enjoyed the work ethic that is part of American culture. I think I’m always struck by how hard Americans work and how “hard work” is such a part of our DNA. In fact, in youth ministry and adolescent development writings, you can hear how being “good” or “responsible” equals hard work. If a teen works hard, he/she is seen as more moral and even more obedient than other less hard-working kids. We Americans have a strong work ethic. And that’s usually a good thing.
Yet, it’s also our weakness. And I think it has two implications: read more…
Posted on Monday, May 23rd, 2011 at 8:29 AM in IN THIS CORNER. No comments
Steve Argue recently commented on Twitter that he doesn’t wear headphones because – I don’t want to distract myself from facing ‘me’. Most of us who run would understand the situation he described. Good running pushes us through our barriers, past our limits, and flushes out toxins (both physically and emotionally). Good running strips away the pretty exterior, the excuses of inactivity, and fosters a prolonged period of combined physical strain and repetitive silence. I find when I run, it feels as if I’m overcoming depressed feelings, laziness, and anxiety, reminding body and mind that they are to be alive, vibrant, and active.
Steve’s comment also points to the ongoing internal conversations with self that often take place during extended exercise. These therapeutic reflections help us process problems, reflect on past conversations, and engage in creative thinking (if only we had a pen to write those down!). In fact, the old creative adage is that we have our most creative thoughts at one of the three “B’s” – bath, bed, and bike. We have some of our best ideas just before we go to sleep or while in the shower or while outside biking/running.
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Posted on Monday, May 9th, 2011 at 7:08 AM in LEAD WELL. No comments
Two recent events reminded me, again, of the need for developing a global perspective, particularly among Americans. I hosted a prominent global youth worker this past week; he and I had never met before. As our conversation developed, he said, “Well, I’ll be honest with you because I can see you have a global perspective” and then he shared his heart about some matters. The truth is that there is always another level of honesty, an ability for one to be truly who they are, when engaging in cross-cultural conversations. And the axiom is: People from other cultures are hesitant to be candid with Americans until they discern whether we are ‘safe’ and possess the ability to see the world through other cultures’ vantage points. I came away from that meeting renewed in my commitment to help others (and to keep learning myself) how to have a global conscience.
The second event was a regional meeting with leaders in urban youth ministry and camps. As the conversation ranged and we discussed some of pressing multicultural issues, I mentioned the forthcoming book, What Can We DO?, that I co-authored with David Livermore. They surprised me with their strong enthusiasm for the book and that they were interested in finding ways to purchase quite a few to get them in the hands of the youth ministry leaders in their organizations.
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Posted on Thursday, May 5th, 2011 at 6:51 AM in THE WORLD, YOUTH MINISTRY. No comments
I must confess: I love programming. No, I don’t mean computers. I mean I love creating the upfront program for a conference, a Wednesday night youth program, or even a retreat for adults. In college, I had the motto “Wherever there is a stage, I will be there” and I think that probably rings true at some level still today. In an age where ‘relational’ ministry gets all of the love and attention, I think it’s time to revisit excellence when it comes to programming in youth ministry.
Before ‘worship music’ took over as the almost singular way we do the pre-teaching of youth ministry programs, diverse elements pushed youth ministry leaders to think through what teens would do and learn through various activities. Now, many youth ministry nights look like a session from a retreat, which looks like a conference program, which looks like summer camp session: All use a set of worship songs and then a talk.
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Posted on Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011 at 10:47 AM in YOUTH MINISTRY. No comments
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