This week I’ve addressed a drift in my life. As my work responsibilities have grown, they’ve drawn me in a bit and I’ve drifted away from others. So, I implemented some steps toward others that help me stay connected to those around me.
But it’s more than just being “connected.” It’s more than just being able to say you know someone. True charity toward others demands more than connection.
Here’s an exercise that I use with myself and others that may be helpful. You’re free to use this and modify it (I’d love for you to let me know what you did to improve it), just be sure to acknowledge your source for it. And I provide wording for that below.
The excercise
Try this: Find a sheet of paper and draw a big circle. In the middle of the circle draw a figure (stick figure or something symbolic) to represent you. Write your first name under the figure so you remember what it represents (in case your art ability is like ming…. marginal).
Now, above and below the circle write the names of people who come in and out of your life on a weekly or monthly basis. If you have groups of people, write the name of the group. For instance, I have “students” and “my kids’ friends”. And, of course, family members’ names.
Now, let the circle represent your sphere of influence, the range where you “connect” with them. Draw lines that represent how they move through your sphere of influence in a given day. Maybe your family moves very close to you … and they’re always there. College students move through my sphere pretty quickly each day. Some folks are at a great distance from me and their time is very limited so their lines are far from the center and then continue out of my circle.
You may want to write the names of the folks who are in your circle constantly. That’s fine. Just create an art piece (or in my case a bunch of scribbles) that visual demonstrate how others move in and out of your life each day.
The question is: How do you (and I) nurture those people? How is their life, their dreams, and their faith richer? Is there any nurture at all? It’s not that you’re connecting. It’s what you and I are doing with those opportunities. It’s not our agenda either. Nurture helps them grow and it takes prayer and intention on our part. A danger to this exercise is that it isn’t about “us,” but about God using us to be charitable to those he’s placed in our lives.
You may want to grab another colored pen or pencil and draw a line from the symbol that represents you to the lines at their closes point to the center. This line will represent the relationship and particularly the nature and “direction” of the nurturing interaction. You can use dashes if it’s sporadic, arrows if the relationship goes one direction, or whatever you choose.
You may even want to, along those lines, write down the nature of the interaction or some next steps for ways you can help nurture their lives. I did this exercise and realized the speed with which I was moving through my week and missing a few opportunities to listen longer, be more challenging when appropriate, and a greater encourager. Just start there – be an encourager to those in your sphere of influence. Then move to listening longer. And watch.
Feel free to let me know how it goes for you too.
NOTE: If you do use this with others, please be kind enough to acknowledge that you got this from “Terry Linhart” and then add either “from his website Terrylinhart.com” or “from Bethel College in Indiana.” Thanks.
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